SWEET JESUS

This is a breaking news story by sister

Okay so we live in this rich town and I work here so I am not among the rich.  I met this dude at the grocery store and even though he is NOT attractive.  I do want to mention for one second that I do think that it is completely necessary for people to know their attractiveness number, and that people need to stick within that number

So I give in to meet this dude for lunch at a local bagel shop.  He was there like 45 mins early and I was like 20 mins late- see thats what you get for dating outside your number (I suggest listening to Dwayne Perkins sketch on it- hits the nail on the head).  As we are there I learn that he used to work at that bagel shop so basically he was trying to show me off.

YES works at the bagel shop.  Lives in my rich town.  Did I really find the one poor 35 yr old in this town
WAIT it gets better
he lives with his mom
he wants to be a professional poker player
he walked to the bagel shop cause he doesn't have a car
he and his friend had a big conversation about me cause he decided to pull my pic off facebook and show all his friends and he already is hinting at taking me to a wedding- gah!
AND I don't find him attractive. THIS IS A DISASTER.

AND NOW FOR THE BREAKING NEWS
So I try to be nice cause he isn't a bad guy but I just am not interested.
Then he starts stalking my life.  I was like bro you are gonna have to relax.
Then he goes "what do you know about aspbergers"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
my life is a joke.  Wait til I tell you the midget story.