Thursday, March 10, 2011

things fat girls do... and are fat girls the new midgets?

Okay so as a fat girl (if you couldn't tell by my other posts) I get very confused when fat girls do certain things.

You have read my diet coke rant... now lets talk about heels.  Listen ladies, if you weigh 200lbs, you got NO BUSINESS wearing way high heels.  We are mean to our ankles anyways, making them carry all this weight around.  We should be icing them shits down instead of making them balance on sticks.  You would laugh if a skinny girl walked on toothpicks right?  WELL THAT IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.  golly.  This has been a public service announcement.

Warning:  the next section explains explicit content manner.  reader discretion is advised.

Okay on to my piece, are fat girls the new midgets?  Its an expose I am writing about the elicit underground fascination that men have suddenly picked up- fucking a fatty is a check mark apparently... someone call Tucker Max and ask him whats up.

As a fat white girl with a gianormous, black girl ass, I have a target audience- meaning black and hispanic men, usually between 30-45.  This works for me, because I like black and spanish guys... hooray all things work out.  However, lately there has been an influx of interested white guys and this is throwing off my game a bit.  With white dudes I have always formed friendships but am RARELY hit on.   Here is the story of pervyanthony:

I met pervyanthony out one night and we just chatted... it was not sexual, it was not even attractiveness based, it was just we were talking because our friends were hooking up.  Talked about how its weird being newly single, that I have no single friends, blah blah blah.  Exchanged numbers and I am innocently psyched about picking up a single friend (cause let me tell you, I am SICK SICK SICK of hanging with couples).

Then I text pervyanthony (which, by the way, is literally how he is saved in my phone) and this is literally the conversation that follows by text
Me: hi
PA: I think big girls are really sexy, I think you are really sexy, do you like threesomes
me: um is this a joke?
PA: no me and my fuckbuddy are looking for someone to have a threesome with and can you do it?
me: oh no, no thank you.
PA: what about just me and you?  I lovvvvveeeeee having sex with big girls
me: oh no, no thank you.

conversation over.  but then I start to get MAD.  What the fuck weren't we in a bar together?  And you didn't hit on me then... so am I like embarrassing to be around?  Your secret wish is a fatty but you pretend you are not into them because fat girls are not socially acceptable?  This is the conversation that followed:

 me: so let me get this straight... you lovveeee having sex with big girls but do you date them or just fuck them?  Are we the new midgets?  does everyone just need to fuck a fatty once in their life?
PA:  No reason really.  They turn me on.  just one of those things I guess.
me:  I see that you are avoiding my ACTUAL question- which is do you date fat girls or just fuck them.
PA:  Love to just fuck them.  A lot
me: hahaha but you would never bring one home?  I see
PA: (explicit material deleted) you like?
me: Do I like that you are telling me that I am like a circus freak- that you want to fuck me in secret but would never take me out?  No, I am insulted and now realize I intensely need to lose weight.

So there you have it.  I wonder if fat porn sales have gone up.  Apparently, fat girls are in fact the new midgets- good for secret sex and nothing else.  No offense midgets, but you get what I mean.

Is this for real?  Between the autistic delight and this I am starting to hate men.  White men anyways.  Where my black dudes at, lol.

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