tales from the bathroom- by sister

I am generally one of those people who is super, ridiculously private about my privates- if brother is home I always have a bra on (under my shirt), I do not change in the same room as my sister (othersister) and I will never, ever, ever be one of those people who leaves the bathroom door open.  EVER.  Regardless of if I have been married 100 years.  One of the many reasons I NEVER want children is because when they get to that age that most of my friends kids have and they are in the shower so you can show them how or whatever- jesus christ that is like my personal nightmare.  I am also very much not a cuddler.  That the background you need for this story.

This brings me to a story with me and my college roomie, and the time the bathroom rebelled against.
(come to think of it, I have quiet a few roomie stories that you will here over time so get familiar)

So Roomie and I were approaching our senior year spring break and we wanted to go somewhere different.  She is a crazy Elvis fan and wanted to go to graceland her entire life.  My godson is an army brat and I hadn't seen him in a while and he lived near nashville.  Memphis it is (by the way, this is my official favorite city in life- you HAVE to go there.)

So we get to the hotel, and as we are checking in the lady at the front desk said "oh, we gave you one king by accident.  Let me switch for you" and roomie said "no its fine!" with such enthusiasm that that became time #1 on this trip where we were mistaken for a lesbian couple.

We get in the hotel and roomie is like INSTANTLY naked.  Again- I am not a naked girl.  It didn't necessarily bother me but it did not make me comfortable.

At one point I was in the bathroom peeing and she just walked in.  Started talking to me.  She still laughs but does not realize this was literally my personal nightmare.  Some people are afraid of spiders, some people are afraid of serial killers, I would take a million of both not to be in that situation.

So, I learned my lesson.  In the middle of the night, I went into the bathroom and locked the door.  Perfect right?  NO because the friggin door got stuck!  It would not let me out.  This is the conversation that followed:

Me: (slamming loudly on the door) Roomie! ROOMIE! Roomieroomieroomie
Roomie: huh? what? (all sleepy)
Me: I am locked in the bathroom, you have to call the front desk
Roomie: yeah, okay
(silence)
Me: Roomie?
DID YOU FALL BACK ASLEEP?  roomieroomieroomieroomie  WAKE THE FUCK UP!
(slamming on the door)
Roomie: "WHAT! WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Me: Call the fucking front desk!

So in my wait period, I was like holy shit... are they going to take off the doorknob?  This is not good.  This means she can walk in whenever!

So the maintenance man comes in and says sir, we are going to get you out of there. 
I am a girl
OH?  I could literally feel the confusion and then once again, I was mistaken for a lesbian.

Long story short I ended up getting myself out of the bathroom with a creditcard- stealth secret spy style.  And now I hate bathrooms even more.

But Memphis was great!