Karaoke in A.J. Wright...

let you know about me... from brother

I should probably be on film because of the things that happen to me. It would not be boring and over-rated like teen-whores. It would be like an interesting version of reality shows. I am going to use this blog to tell some of the great things that happen to me.

The time I sang Karaoke at an A.J. Wright...

So I am at A.J. Wright to buy a hat box
For some reason I needed to buy a friend a hat box
it was imperative I swear. My best friend from college and I went searching high and low for a fucking hat box. Old Ladies are still around, why could I not find one... where do old people shop? They closed down all the Caldor's... A.J Wright it is...

So we scour the place and find a really bad hat box that was like snowman themed or some shit. The hatbox is merely the vehicle to this moment, not the highlight.

So OF COURSE, because we are in the ghetto ass town I grew up in, there is one employee working the store during Christmas-time. And I am third in line, sweet! ... right??? I mean there are only two people ahead of me... I am pumped...

then I see it...

customer #1 has 2 carts, full of clothes... two fucking carts...

SWEET JESUS.


but I have been that employee, so I will not lose my temper...

although this employee is taking her sweet time scanning everything...


THE TIME TO TALK IS LATER BITCH! GET SCANNING!!! (stay calm brother.... stay calm)

15+ minutes later... onto cart 2


I WILL EAT YOUR HEART!

finally the manager walks over and opens another lane (stay calm brother... stay calm)
Lady in front of me is only buying a crystal lamp (fake) and I am like "whew... she won't be too long"
she pulls out coins
SWEET MOTHER IN HEAVEN I WILL REAP YOUR SOUL SHE-DEVIL!!!!!

But I am trying to look calm... then it happens
Samantha Mumba's "Gotta tell you" comes on the loud speaker
so let's see, she female... and black... so obviously this song is my jam!

I am hugging my hat box, as if it were some type of baby (assuming one would ever want to touch such a disgusting creature) and breaking it DOWN to Ms. Mumba...

I close my eyes and get INTO-IT. God damn I am breaking that shit DOWN.
then I hear it...

MY voice...
on the loud speaker...
not Samantha Mumba... me...
I open my eyes...
Manager is holding the loud speaker up to me...
I turn to see my friend...literally on the floor laughing...
I turn and see the store... looking at me...
I am pretty sure an angel dies every time I sing... I think I just killed Jesus with my voice on a loudspeaker...
I paid for my hatbox and left

(turns out that swipe landed me in the database that was hacked in that T.J.X. scandal...)

greatest moment of my life... at the time... yes... better stories to follow...